How to Saw a Log

This is the first thing a newly-wed couple in Germany has to do immediately after they have gone out of the church.

Difficulty Level: Hard

Time Required: varies

Here’s How:

1. Step out of the church with a happy smile on your face like all newly-weds do until they see a huge log waiting for them.
2. Come close to the log (it should be placed on a sawing horse) and inspect it.
3. Choose a knotless sector (otherwise your log-sawing will replace your dinner, your party, and all things planned).
4. Take a saw with your right hand (unless you are left-handed).
5. Be sure to see your spouse on the other end of the saw (and across the log).
6. Encourage each other with a smile and start moving the saw!
7. Don’t mind your friends and relatives with their kind (but distracting) remarks and laughter — keep sawing.
8. When the saw stucks (yes, it will), get it out of the log and start moving it anew.
9. After you have finished, be careful: the logs (now two of them!) tend to land onto the sawyers’ feet…
10. Sigh with relief (not too loud) and kiss your sawdusted spouse.

Tips:

1. Remember: haste is not the best companion at log-sawing!
2. Pull the saw instead of pushing it.
3. It’s much better to saw the log broadways than lengthways.

Related articles:
German Wedding Traditions
Wedding Traditions in Germany
German Wedding Ceremonies