With the fifth largest economy in the world, Germany is Europe’s land of opportunity for skilled professionals. In addition to high job security and a favorable work-life balance, people are also thrilled with how safe the country is and with its high quality of medical care.

For about two centuries, Germany was a land people migrated from, not to. But times have changed, and so has Germany. With a booming economy, it attracts talent from the rest of Europe and beyond. German universities are reporting more foreign students and researchers, and many of those stay and found companies – in that respect Berlin, where 43% of tech startups are launched by immigrants, is second only to Silicon Valley (46%) and ahead of London, Tel Aviv and Paris.

This trend may be surprising given the alleged barrier of “the awful German language,” as Mark Twain memorably described it, with its tricky cases, genders and inflections. And yet branches of the Goethe Institute, a network of culture centers that teach German, are doing brisk business from Latin America to Asia. Something similar could be said about Germany’s awful bureaucracy (too bad Mr. Twain omitted that angle!). Even there, Germany has improved: several reforms have made it much simpler for German firms to recruit abroad, for example.

Many of those coming to Germany would in the past have gone to America or Britain instead. But America in the age of President Trump, with headlines full of travel bans and walls to be built, has lost some of its draw. Britain could careen for years toward who-knows-what-kind-of Brexit. In Germany, however, the government is rolling out a red carpet by simplifying immigration procedures, funding free language classes, even opening “ welcome centers” for newcomers. So bankers, students, artists and others look to Germany instead, pursuing their German Dream.

One in five foreigners in Germany work in the IT industry. As the country is experiencing a skills shortage in this area and experts are in high demand, many have found a safe and secure job in this field. Indeed, the highest percentage of expats (17%) list having found a job in Germany as their main reason for moving abroad.

Once people settle into their new job, they are happy to find that the average work week consists of 39 hours, leaving plenty of time to spend with family and friends and engage in leisure activities. At first, many newcomers find it difficult to adjust to the fact that stores in Germany are closed on most Sundays and in some states shut their doors in the early evening during the week. After a while, though, most learn to plan ahead and enjoy their leisurely Sundays.

When it comes to personal safety in Germany, according to the Expat Insider 2016 survey, expats feel that it is possible for them to move about freely in their neighborhoods, cities, and the country in general, without fearing for their personal safety.

Foreigners appreciate being able to walk around Germany’s cities and sleep peacefully in their beds each night, all the time feeling safe and secure. Even during the Oktoberfest in Munich and after World Cup soccer games, foreigners are often surprised at the relatively low amount of trouble that Germans get into, compared to what they would expect to see in other countries.

While Germany ranks very high for job security, quality of medical care, and personal safety, there are some areas in which it falls far behind other countries. First of all, only one in ten people are very happy with the climate and weather in this European country. Luckily, with excellent transportation options and a central location within Europe, escaping to sunshine and warmer climes for a long weekend or extended vacation is a breeze.

Expats in Germany also find it quite difficult to settle into life here and make new friends, especially local ones. The cool and distant outward demeanor of many Germans is often interpreted as rudeness. The blunt, frank way of speaking and expressing opinions can come off as tactlessness. Only 14% of the survey respondents think the local German population is very friendly and the country ranks a miserable 50th out of 61 in terms of overall friendliness.

Despite this less-than-ideal result, expats who manage to crack the hard outer shell and become friends with Germans will find that they have made friends for life. Although excellent knowledge of English is widespread throughout Germany, being able to converse in German will help pave the way to feeling at home and making local friends.

Germany is by far the leading trading country in the continent in terms of volume and value. With a largely very prosperous population of around 82 million, the German economy remains one of the most outstanding economies in the world. It is only a few hundred miles from the UK – and it has been forecast to grow at around 1.5% each year over the next 20 years.

The German system of gun control is among the most stringent in Europe. It restricts the acquisition, possession, and carrying of firearms to those with a creditable need for a weapon. It bans fully automatic weapons and severely restricts the acquisition of other types of weapons. Compulsory liability insurance is required for anyone who is licensed to carry firearms.

In recent years, German gun-control law underwent several reforms that made it even more stringent. A new Weapons Act became effective in 2003 after a school shooting in the city of Erfurt in which a student killed sixteen persons. The new Act restricted the use of large caliber weapons by young people and strengthened requirements for the safe storage of firearms.

Another reform was enacted in 2009 in response to the massacre at Winnenden, in which an eighteen-year-old killed fifteen people in the course of a school shooting. This latest reform led to the creation of a federal gun register and to intense governmental monitoring of gun owners’ compliance with requirements for the safe storage of firearms. Pursuant to the reformed legislation, the authorities may at any time request access to the premises of any registered gun owner to monitor whether proper safe-storage procedures are being observed.

Germany has one of the highest rates of gun ownership worldwide, yet also one of the lowest rates of gun-related deaths.

To get a gun, Germans must first obtain a firearms ownership license (Waffenbesitzkarte) – and you may need a different one for each weapon you buy – or a license to carry (Waffenschein).

Applicants for a license must be at least 18 years old and undergo what’s called a reliability check, which includes checking for criminal records, whether the person is an alcohol or drug addict, whether they have mental illness or any other attributes that might make them questionable to authorities.

The also have to pass a “specialized knowledge test” on guns and people younger than 25 applying for their first license must go through a psychiatric evaluation.

One must also prove a specific and approved need for the weapon, which is mainly limited to use by hunters, competitive marksmen, collectors and security workers – not for self-defence.

Once you have a license, you’re also limited in the number of and kinds of guns you may own, depending on what kind of license you have: Fully automatic weapons are banned for all, while semiautomatic firearms are banned for anything other than hunting or competitive shooting.

Under the reforms passed in the wake of a 2009 mass shooting, gun owners are also subject to continued monitoring by the government with officials able to ask gun owners at any time to enter their private property and check that they are properly storing their weapons.

But even given Germany’s strict gun policies, the country was still home to the fourth-highest number of legal guns per capita in 2013, falling behind just the United States, Switzerland and Finland.

About 2 million people own more than 5.5 million legal guns in Germany for a population of more than 80 million.

On top of that, police unions have estimated that there are up to 20 million more illegally-owned guns in Germany – this would mean roughly 30 guns for every group of 100 people.

But even given the relatively high amount of guns in the country, Germany has one of the lowest rates of gun-related deaths each year, according to international GunPolicy.org research by the University of Sydney.

Over the past 20 years, “crimes against life” – which include murder as well as negligent manslaughter – that involve guns have dropped from 783 in 1995 to 130 in 2015, according to the Federal Criminal Police Office (BKA). Of those crimes in 2015, just 57 were intentional murders.

Several mass shootings within the past two decades have had a great impact on gun control policy. Since those mass shootings, there has also been drop-off in gun violence. In 2009 when Winnenden happened, there were 179 crimes against life that involved guns being fired, compared to the 130 such crimes in 2015.

There are two kinds of firearms carry permits in Germany:

1. Firearms carry permits (Waffenschein) entitle licensees to publicly carry legally owned weapons, whether concealed or not. A mandatory legal and safety class and shooting proficiency tests are required to obtain such a permit. Carry permits are usually only issued to persons with a particular need for carrying a firearm. This includes some private security personnel and persons living under a raised threat level like celebrities and politicians. They are valid up to three years and can be extended. Carrying at public events is prohibited. Licensed hunters do not need a permit to carry loaded weapons while hunting, and unloaded weapons while directly traveling to and from such an activity.

2. A small firearms carry permit (Kleiner Waffenschein) was introduced in 2002. It can be obtained without having to demonstrate expert knowledge, necessity or a mandatory insurance. The only requirements are that the applicant be of legal age, trustworthy and personally adequate. It entitles the licensee to publicly carry gas pistols (both of the blank and irritant kind) and flare guns. These types of firearms are freely available to adults; only the actual carrying on public property requires the permit. Similar to the full permit, carrying at public events is prohibited.

Firearms that are prohibited in Germany may not be owned by anyone except with a special license from the Federal Criminal Police Office, which is only given to manufacturers, exporters, and, on rare occasions, collectors. The most important ones are:

• Firearms defined as “war weapons” by the law (tanks, rocket launchers, heavy machine guns)
• Fully automatic firearms
• Pump-action shotguns, if
  • the stock has been replaced by a pistol grip or
  • the overall length is less than 95 cm, or
  • the barrel length is less than 45 cm.
• Firearms designed to look like an everyday object in order to conceal their nature
• Handguns made after January 1, 1970 that fire ammunition with a caliber of less than 6.3mm, except those for rimfire ammunition.

Germans are said to be rather serious, dour, and even humorless. While this is not entirely true, German people do indeed need some time to warm up and keep a polite distance when dealing with strangers. While it might be customary in some countries to address people by their first name, Germans like to stick to formalities. At the same time, their blunt direct way of communicating might put some people off and even appear rude. On the upside, once you’ve cracked a German’s hard shell, they will warm up quickly. This is also when you will find out that Germans are indeed funny and like to joke around a lot. Compliments are given rarely, but if so, then they are sincere.

Our gestures, facial expressions and voice tone say a lot more about us that the actual words we are saying. In Germany, lots of physical distance and a calm, moderate tome are appropriate in most situations. Hugging another person, patting their back, kissing their cheek and generally touching another person is reserved for close friends and relatives. Yelling, screaming and shouting are considered incredibly rude. That being said, Germans do talk with a blunt directness that may sound arrogant to other people. Such frankness and assertiveness are perfectly normal most of the time. It is not intended to offend you.

When it comes to small talk, Germans rarely chat about personal matters at first. Instead, they focus on sports, traveling, movies or cooking. You should avoid potentially controversial topics like politics or religion, reserving them for good friends only. Allusions to the country’s Nazi past and its role in the World Wars are taboo.

One of the many clichés about Germany and the Germans says that they act in a not very friendly or even rude manner towards strangers. But what is often interpreted as rude manners, is more like a basic inability of Germans to small talk – they simply are not used to it.

In fact, it comes more from another behavior often observed on Germans: They are said to be very direct and trying to be effective in what they are doing – that’s why most of them don’t think it is necessary to small talk as it costs time without producing measurable results. For them, it’s simply a waste of time. Next time you are trying to small talk with a German just say to yourself: They’re not rude, they’re just effective.

It’s said that it’s not too easy to make German friends, but once you’ve managed to befriend one, he or she will be a “real” and loyal friend. I don’t need to tell you that not all Germans are the same and especially young people are very open towards foreigners. It might be due to the fact that they are able to communicate better in English than the older Germans. It is more a basic cultural difference that becomes obvious in daily situations with strangers.

Every country and culture is based on different habits and behavior. Here are some fun facts about Germany and Germans that you definitely need to know.

1. Germany is one of the most densely populated countries in Europe.

Yes, the country has a staggering population size of 82,790,000 people, and counting! And, even though Germany is a rather large country, that still means there’s 231 people per sq km!

2. One third of Germany is still covered in forest and woodland.

Despite the population density, a good proportion of Germany is actually still covered in foliage. And, it sure is spectacular. Our little tip? If you’re a fan of the Brother’s Grimm fairy tales, you might just want to pay a visit to the Black Forest… the setting of many of their stories.

3. Berlin is 9 times bigger than Paris and has more bridges than Venice

Dating back to the 13th century, the city spans a whopping 891.8 km², plenty of room for those 1700 bridges within the city. Berlin is over 9 times the size of Paris, butit only has 1/5 of Paris’ density (4K inhabitants per sq km as opposed to 21K inhabitants per sq km in Paris). That’s why Berlin feels so airy and spacious! So much so that sometimes you feel like you have a whole park for yourself.

4. During JFK’s famous declaration of “Ich bin ein Berliner” he actually likened himself to a jam doughnut.

What he should have said is “Ich bin Berliner” meaning “I am a citizen of Berlin”. A Berliner is actually a type of jelly donut made in Berlin., so “Ich bin ein Berliner” can actually be translated to “I am a jelly doughnut.”

5. Germany’s Capital City has shifted 7 times!

From Aachen (during the Carolingian Empire) to Regensburg, Frankfurt-am-Main, Nuremberg, Berlin, Weimar (unofficially, during unrest in Berlin), Bonn (and East Berlin), and, since 1990, Berlin again!

6. Germany is sometimes known as the land of poets and thinkers.

German writers and poets have won 13 Nobel Prizes in Literature and Germany is home to world-renowned writers such as Friedrich Schiller, E.T.A. Hoffmann, Günter Grass, Hermann Hesse and Herta Müller.

7. Germany is Europe’s second largest beer consumer.

Just behind the Czech Republic, the German’s are known to consume a fair amount of the ‘liquid gold’. But, given the Bavarians even consider beer to be a basic food, and drink on average of 150 liters per person, per year, we think they’re giving the Czechs a run for their money.

8. The longest word published in the German language is Donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft.

Loosely translating to Danube steamboat shipping electricity main engine facility building sub clerk association. The word Rindfleischetikettierungsueberwachungsaufgabenuebertragungsgesetz, a law delegating beef label monitoring, was removed from the German language in 2014.

9. The German Football team is the second most successful football team in the world!

The beautiful game, a British sport and a hard fought rivalry in the football world. But, we have to hand it to Germany on this one, falling just behind Brazil, winning four world cups and three European championships, they certainly can play us at our own game.

10. The first book to ever be printed was the Bible by Johannes Gutenberg in the 1450s in Germany.

The first mass produced printed book was the Latin Bible and was originally published in February 23, 1455 in Mainz.

11. According to German law, a person’s gender must be obvious by first name. So the civil registration office, or Standesamt, can refuse names that don’t comply. Re-applying can be a costly process, so that’s why many parents go for traditional names like Michael and Maria.

12. In 2014, Germany officially abolished college tuition fees, even for international students.

13. In Germany, there’s no punishment for a prisoner who tries to escape from jail because it is a basic human instinct to be free.

14. During WWI, the King of England, the Tsar of Russia, and the Emperor of Germany were all first cousins.

15. Some 5,500 WWII bombs are discovered in Germany every year and defused, an average of 15 per day.

Bread (Brot) is a significant part of German cuisine, with the largest bread diversity in the world. Around 300 kinds of breads and 1,200 different kinds of pastries and rolls are produced in about 17,000 bakeries and another 10,000 in-shop bakeries. The multitudinous variety of bread and rolls in Germany is legendary! It is based on different grains (wheat or rye, pure or in all possible mixtures with oat, spelt, buckwheat, linseed as well as millet), coarse or finely ground flours, varying fermenting (sourdough/yeast) and baking methods, as well as shapes and seasonings in the form of nuts, seeds or spices – all developed through specific regional conditions.

Bread is served usually for breakfast (often replaced by bread rolls) and in the evening as (open) sandwiches, but rarely as a side dish for the main meal (popular, for example, with Eintopf or soup). The importance of bread in German cuisine is also illustrated by words such as Abendbrot (meaning supper, literally evening bread) and Brotzeit (snack, literally bread time). In fact, one of the major complaints of the German expatriates in many parts of the world is their inability to find acceptable local breads.

Bread has always played an important role in the folklore and superstitions of old and is still central in the German diet. The traditional cold evening meal in the north and center is bread spread with butter, cheese, cold cuts, called Abendbrot, or evening bread. Brotzeit, literally bread time, is a midmorning or afternoon snack all over southern Germany, and has since long been a valid excuse for the first beer of the day (around 11am), perhaps to wash down a pair of Weißwurst, Bavarian white sausage, with a Laugenbrezel, pretzel. Fidelisbäck uses its ovens to bake Leberkäse, a kind of meatloaf, which I like to enjoy in the rustic restaurant – with local beer, of course. Most southern German butcher shops offer Leberkässemmeln, a slice of freshly baked meatloaf sandwiched in a roll.

Historically, dark and white bread marked social differences, but were also based on geographical conditions. Rye is content with lesser soils than wheat. It contains less gluten than wheat, and therefore requires a long sourdough fermentation to rise. This results in a decidedly sour taste in the finished bread, as well as a heavier, more compact texture, traditionally deemed as less luxurious. The darkest and most extreme of those northern breads is Westphalian Pumpernickel. Originally it was called Swattbraut (black bread) and in spite of many stories, historians are divided as to the roots of its 17th century name. It is still made from coarsely ground wholegrain rye with water and salt in large, long, rectangular loaves which steam rather than bake for 24 hours in a sealed oven to produce a sweetish, syrup-like taste. Traditionally it was also fed to poultry and horses. In its most elegant form it is eaten like cake alongside coffee, in a kind of black and white sandwich with Stuten (challah-like white yeast bread), thickly spread with butter.

The custom of seasoning bread dates back to the Middle Ages and marks another difference between north and south. In the north, from the 15th century on, bread was eaten with (often salted) butter and other savory and sweet accompaniments, later alongside tea or coffee. Today, only white yeast bread is seasoned for special occasions with sugar, raisins, cinnamon and sometimes cardamom and then is treated almost as cake. In the south however, bread is seen as a separate food item, and often has the same status as potatoes in the north. Caraway, fennel, coriander, and aniseeds in the south are commonly used to season large loaves made from a finely ground mix of rye and wheat, using yeast or a mild sourdough. The sweet bread version in the south is called Hutzel-, Kletzen- or Früchtebrot (fruit bread) which is made in late autumn with dried pears as well as other dried fruit.

Bread types range from white wheat bread (Weißbrot) to grey (Graubrot) to black (Schwarzbrot), actually dark brown rye bread. Some breads contain both wheat and rye flour (hence Mischbrot, mixed bread), and often also wholemeal and whole seeds such as linseed, sunflower seed, or pumpkin seed (Vollkornbrot). Darker, rye-dominated breads, such as Vollkornbrot, Bauernbrot or Schwarzbrot, are typical of German cuisine. Pumpernickel, sweet-tasting bread created by long-time-steaming instead of regular baking, is internationally well known, although not representative of German black bread as a whole. Most German breads are made with sourdough. Whole grain is also preferred for high fiber. Germans use almost all available types of grain for their breads: wheat, rye, barley, spelt, oats, millet, corn and rice. Some breads are even made with potato starch flour.

Germany’s most popular breads are rye-wheat (Roggenmischbrot), toast bread (Toastbrot), whole-grain (Vollkornbrot), wheat-rye (Weizenmischbrot), white bread (Weißbrot), multigrain, usually wheat-rye-oats with sesame or linseed (Mehrkornbrot), rye (Roggenbrot), sunflower seeds in dark rye bread (Sonnenblumenkernbrot), pumpkin seeds in dark rye bread (Kürbiskernbrot) and roasted onions in light wheat-rye bread (Zwiebelbrot).

Bread rolls, known in Germany as Brötchen, which is a diminutive of Brot, with regional linguistic varieties being Semmel (in South Germany), Schrippe (especially in Berlin), Rundstück (in the North and Hamburg) or Wecken, Weck, Weckle, Weckli and Weckla (in Baden-Württemberg, Switzerland, parts of Southern Hesse and northern Bavaria), are common in German cuisine. A typical serving is a roll cut in half, and spread with butter or margarine. Cheese, honey, jam, Nutella, cold cuts such as ham, fish, or preserves are then placed between the two halves, or on each half separately, known as a belegtes Brötchen.

Rolls are also used for snacks, or as a hotdog-style roll for Bratwurst, Brätel, Fleischkäse or

Schwenker/Schwenkbraten. Franzbrötchen, which originated in the area of Hamburg, is the small, sweet pastry roll baked with butter and cinnamon.

Sometimes other ingredients are used as well, such as chocolate or raisins. It is a type of pastry commonly found in northern Germany, especially Hamburg, and it is usually served for breakfast, but is also enjoyed along with coffee and cake.

As its name indicates, the Franzbrötchen was probably inspired by French pastries. Originally, it could be found only in the region of Hamburg, but now Franzbrötchen are also sold in Bremen, Berlin and other German cities.

It’s true: there are no speed limits on many sections of German autobahns. But there are plenty of other regulations you should be aware of.

While most traffic rules are the same in Germany as they are in other countries, traffic signs and street markings can be very different as well as confusing. The following is some basic traffic information for driving a vehicle in Germany.

At all times: Always have in your car your driver’s license and International Driver’s Permit, car registration, insurance information, blue parking disk and emergency kit.

Speed limits: The standard speed limits are 50 km/h within the city limits and 100 km/h on rural roads, unless otherwise posted. The city limits are marked with a yellow sign which has the city name on it at the beginning of the city limits, and the same yellow sign with a red slash through it at the end of the city limits. When driving in the city, if you see a blue sign with white car, children and bike symbols on it, then you must drive at a walking speed.

Speed control: Beware the cameras that will gladly take your picture if you are speeding – these cameras are in many areas along the Autobahn as well as in the cities.

Lane markings: Lanes going the same direction are separated by dashed white lines. A Solid white line separates the different directions. Yellow lines are to notate a change in the traffic flow in a construction area – not to separate the different sides of the road.

Driving lanes: Stay in right lane whenever possible. After passing, go back to the right lane. The left lane should only be used for passing, especially on the Autobahn. If, while in the left lane, you see someone coming up behind you – get out of the way.

Passing: When passing, pass only on the left, and at a faster speed than the car you are passing. Don’t pass at the same speed – speed up, pass, and then return to the speed you were going. A double white line in the middle means no passing. A solid white line beside a dashed line means passing on the dashed side only.

Traffic lights: The colors on the signals represent the same things in Germany as they do just about everywhere else:

Green: Proceed with caution
Yellow: Prepare to stop
Red: Stop

You are not allowed to turn right on a red light. The only exception to this is when there is a specific signal with a green right arrow.

If you see a blinking yellow light at an intersection it means stop, then proceed if the intersection is clear. If you run a red light you’ll more than likely be caught. Many German intersections have radar-controlled cameras that are hooked up to traffic lights.

Traffic signs: These are usually posted on the right, so keep an eye out. The ADAC (the German national motor club) has made a very comprehensive list of traffic signs.

Right of way: When no traffic signal is at an intersection, follow these right of way rules:

If you have a sign with a yellow diamond at an intersection, you have the right of way. If you have a sign which is a white triangle with a red border (yield sign), you must wait for the oncoming traffic to clear.

If there is no sign, then a vehicle entering from the right has the right of way.

There are no 3-way or 4-way stop signs. Likewise, there are also no flashing red lights. If you approach a flashing yellow light, proceed with caution – this does not automatically give you the right of way.

Merging: When merging, observe the “zipper rule” (Reißverschluß), which states that both lanes feed into the continuing lane, alternating cars from each lane. No one lane has priority over the other.

Pedestrian Crossings: Pedestrians crossing the street have the right of way, and you must stop for them. Also, when coming to a stop at an intersection, make sure you do not block the pedestrian crossing.

Traffic Jams: If you find yourself driving into a traffic jam, remember to turn on your hazard lights to warn the drivers behind you. (You can turn them off again once you have a few cars behind you.)

Stalled car: If something happens to your car that is not a serious accident, move it over as far as you can to the right, put your hazard and parking lights on, put your safety vest on and set the warning triangle 100 m (200 m on the highway) away from the car to warn oncoming traffic. Telephones are placed along the Autobahn in case assistance is needed.

Seatbelts: mandatory. Back seat as well.

Gas stations: Not all are open 24 hours, but they do all offer different types of fuel. Make sure you know whether your car uses diesel or benzin (unleaded gasoline).

Cell phone use: It is illegal to use a cell phone while driving.

Alcohol limit: 0.05%.

Baby seats: The baby seat requirements in Germany are different than those in other countries, so it might be easier to rent a baby seat upon arrival instead of bringing one along.

Roadside Assistance Numbers:

Road Assistance ADAC +49 (0)1802 22 22 22
Road Assistance ACE +49 (0)711 530 34 35 36
Road Assistance AVD +49 (0)800 9909909

Sometimes, when coming to Germany, visitors have the stereotype of dour, rigid, and humorless Germans firmly lodged in their mind. Fortunately, this cliché regarding German customs and behavior is exactly that – just a cliché.

Germans tend to be rather reserved with strangers, business partners and casual acquaintances.

Meet and Greet

In order to describe German customs and social interactions, intercultural consultants like comparing Germans to coconuts. Both have a hard exterior shell, which may take some time to crack, but are soft and sweet on the inside. Practically speaking, this means that German customs generally impose a certain formality when interacting with strangers and casual acquaintances.

Most first meetings in Germany are characterized by a great degree of reserve. Germans will treat you politely, but not warmly, and they may not appreciate levity, joking around, or ironic wit. This is probably where the preconception of the dull German devoid of humor comes from. Just give them a little time. If you are gradually getting to know them better, they will eventually relax and prove that Germans do know how to have fun.

Proper Forms of Address

When you meet a German for the first time, polite German customs require you to err on the side of conservatism: Make direct eye contact with your new acquaintance; shake hands briefly, but firmly; use a formal greeting such as “Guten Tag, Herr Schmidt” or “Guten Morgen, Frau Müller. Es freut mich, Sie kennen zu lernen.“ (”Good morning, Ms Müller. It’s a pleasure to meet you“). German customs place lots of emphasis on the correct form of address and a person’s title, particularly if you interact with business contacts, a person you have never met before, the elderly, and people entitled to your respect (e.g. your superiors in a business setting or an academic context).

Make sure to use the polite way of addressing Germans at first (“Sie”). Also use Herr/Frau (Mr/Ms) + title + last name: for instance, Herr Doktor Meier. The word Fräulein, which is often quoted to be one of the more important among German customs, is even more outdated than the English “Miss”, and younger women in Germany often regard it as patronizing.

First names and the casual form of address (“Du”) are reserved by German customs for friends, family, and younger people like university students. However, when your new acquaintance, neighbor or coworker offers you to talk on a first-name basis, courtesy in German customs dictates that you accept: They are trying to be particularly friendly. In young-skewing, international, or “trendy” businesses, though, most people will be on a first-name basis immediately – just see how they introduce themselves and follow their example.

On the Phone

Erring on the side of formal politeness is also recommended when making phone calls in Germany. Don’t phone people at home late at night or early in the morning, during lunch hours from 1 to 3 p.m. when stay-at-home parents with children like to rest, or on a Sunday, a day reserved for quality time with the family and meeting up with close friends.

Always remember to say your full name when answering the phone (“Hallo, John Smith am Apparat.” – “Hello, this is John Smith speaking.”) When calling someone who is not a close friend of yours, treat the person on the other end of line with formal courtesy, even if it’s “only” the receptionist offering to forward your call. (“Guten Tag, hier ist John Smith. Könnte ich bitte mit Herrn Doktor Meier sprechen?” – „Good afternoon, this is John Smith speaking. Could I talk to Dr Meier, please?“)

For most people, buying property in Germany is not only a solid investment but also a place where they and their family spend the rest of their lives. Unless they are required to move, most people in Germany will not abandon the house they bought or even built themselves. So when they decide on buying property in Germany, most people take their time – because for them, it is usually a permanent decision. Moreover, compared to other countries, a larger percentage of the population in Germany prefers renting their home to buying property in Germany. Buying a house in Germany takes a considerable degree of preparation. But it’s hard to know where to start. Here are several things to consider before buying property in Germany.

1. Is it a good time to buy?

Industry leaders confirm that Germany’s strong economy is stable and growing. At the same time, residential real estate prices continue to rise. Many German cities already have housing shortages, which pushes prices up.

The German Institute of Urban Affairs notes that, “Industry experts expect this trend to continue for years to come.”

Indeed, population growth in cities like Berlin, Munich, Frankfurt and Düsseldorf will sustain the high demand for housing. Since rising property value also means higher rent, becoming an owner in many German cities can save money long term.

Even though demand keeps prices high, Germany’s currently low interest rates are ideal for buyers. Interest rates recently dropped by 40%: from 5% in 2009 to 2% in the beginning of 2018.

With a strong economy, robust housing market and low interest rates, now is a good time to buy property in Germany.

2. How much can I afford?

Everyone can apply for a mortgage in Germany. There are no restrictions for non-Germans purchasing property. It does not matter whether you are an expat, a blue card holder, an EU citizen or non-EU citizen.  As for how much you can borrow, that depends on whether you live and work in Germany or not.

If you live and work in Germany, you can borrow up to 100% of the property price. Overall, your deposit should cover the purchase fees, which depends on the property’s location.

Usually, purchase fees are between 5-15% of the property price. Such fees include: stamp duty, notary fees and real estate agent tax. Like to a downpayment, purchase fees come from the buyer’s own equity instead of a bank loan.

If you do not work in Germany, you can borrow up to 60% of the property price. So, your deposit should cover 40% of the property purchase price as well as the purchase fees.

Before anything else, review your income and find out what you can afford to pay monthly. Apartment costs vary depending on region and city, as shown in the chart below. Here is a detailed research on German house price development in the major cities.

Lenders in Germany will request documentation to verify your financial and personal situation, as well as information about the property. Perhaps even more than other countries, Germany lenders are strict about due diligence.

3. How can I find a property?

There is more than one way to find a property in Germany. Common resources include:

• An online resource
• A local real estate agent

More than likely, you will need a real estate agent find and bid on most properties. Look for an agent who is a member of an association like IVD, the association of German realtors, to avoid scams.

When you view a property, prepare a list of questions on items like nearby transportation, schools and homeowner association fees.

4. How can I win a bidding war?

Housing shortages in many German cities mean that competition is fierce. The easiest way to make yourself stand out is to show the seller that you are ready to buy.

So, confirm financing before you start to visit properties with a mortgage pre-approval.

Prior to pre-approval, your lender will ask for a list of documents to verify your financial and personal situation, like proof of income, monthly expenses and proof of deposit. The whole process can take up to three weeks.

Then, you can put your pre-approval letter in your offer to show sellers that you are serious and ready to act.

5. How does the process work?

Once you win the bid, the rest of the purchase process is fairly standard.

First, make sure you place a reservation on the property and have all necessary documentation for your specific property handy. Then, begin to filter loan offers. Try to negotiate to improve the financing conditions. If you have a mortgage broker, they can help ensure that you get the best deal.

Before your notary appointment, ask your lender for financing confirmation. Allowing time between the financing confirmation and signing the purchasing contract will reduce risk that the contract conditions will change.

When you sign the purchase contract in front of the notary, the notary will read the entire contract. Both buyer and seller must be able to fully understand the terms. Plan to bring a certified German interpreter if necessary.

With a signed purchase contract in hand, you can sign the loan agreement. Then, the bank or mortgage broker will register the mortgage to secure the right of lien for the mortgaged property.

Lastly, you will receive the loan on the agreed date. You can then transfer the total purchase price, including your capital and the loan.

6. How do I pay off my mortgage?

Thoughtfully choosing the best mortgage is the best way to ensure that you can pay it off.

Many homebuyers today choose a loan with a fixed interest rate for 10 years. Some lenders will also let you make an additional annual payment of 5%. After 10 years, you may need to refinance at a higher interest rate. Even a slight increase can raise – and in some cases double – your monthly payment, so consider refinancing costs in your initial budget.

To find the best option, it’s a good idea to talk to a broker. They can compare options on your behalf and walk you through every step of the process.

There are over 20 breeds that originated from Germany, some of which make great hunting partners like the German Shorthaired Pointer, the Munsterlander or the Dachshund others make excellent guarding dogs like the Rottweiler, Doberman and Leonberger (the gentle lion) and some just make incredible companion dogs, for example the Pomeranian. The most famous breed developed in Germany is of course the German Shepherd, a medium-sized dog that slightly resembles a wolf. This breed is one of smartest in the world and can take on any given task. Due to its psychological and physical qualities, it can be used in the most varied fields of activity: detection, war, intervention, fires, tracking, search and rescue, guide dog and many many other activities.

Learning about German dog breeds not only gives you a great crash course in some of the most beloved and popular dogs of our day, but also offers a unique way to turn back time and learn more about these dogs’ home country and culture.

How many German dog breeds can you name? Let’s see:

1. Affenpinscher (Monkey dog)
2. Boxer (German Boxer, German Bullmastiff, Deutscher Boxer)
3. Dachshund (Standard Dachshund, Miniature Dachshund, Toy Dachshund, Doxie, Teckel, Sausage Dog)
4. Doberman (Dobe, Dobie, Doby)
5. Eurasier (Eurasian Dog, Eurasian)
6. German Pointer (Vorstehhund)
7. German Pinscher (Deutscher Pinscher)
8. German Shepherd (Alsatian, Berger Allemand, Deutscher Schaferhund, GSD, Schaferhund)
9. Schnauzer (Schnauzer )
10. Great Dane (German Mastiff, Danish Hound, Deutsche Dogge, Grand Danois, Gentle Giant)
11. Hovawart (Hovie)
12. Munsterlander (Münsterländer, Vorstehhund, Munsterlander Pointer, Moonster)
13. Leonberger (Gentle Lion, Leo)
14. Pomeranian (Deutsche Spitze; Zwergspitz; Spitz nain; Spitz enano; Pom; Zwers, Pom)
15. Rottweiler (Rottie, Rott)
16. Weimaraner (Weimaraner Vorstehhund, Weim, Grey Ghost)

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AFFENPISCHER

First up on the list of German dog breeds is the Affenpinscher, often called Affens by enthusiasts. At first glimpse, this pint-sized pup seems to be all hair! Chewbacca, anyone???

Affenpinscher is quite a name for a pup that rarely tops 10 pounds. The name literally translates to mean “ape terrier,” a nod to this dog’s shaggy coat and terrier lineage.

These dogs were originally bred to be ratters on farms and in kitchens. But it didn’t take long for this pseudo-serious canine comedian to transition from kitchen help to constant companion. These dogs are great athletes and do well in the show ring as well as in agility training and service dog work.

The Affenpinscher may be small in size, but like many petite pups, he doesn’t seem to realize it. One anecdote describes a teensy Affen facing down a grizzly bear!

BOXER

The Boxer is considered one of the bigger German dog breeds, weighing anywhere from 65 to 80 lbs.

These dogs are all muscle— incredible athletes who exhibit an unfailingly happy, positive nature towards their owners.

However, these dogs were born and bred to work on farms, in the military and police forces, with hunters, and in service work as guide dogs.

Therefore, they really do well when they have a job to do or lots of daily exercise and activity. Not surprisingly, Boxers make excellent guard dogs and watchdogs for many families today!

One fun fact about the Boxer is that this dog gets its name from the way it “boxes” with its front paws when play-sparring or hunting prey. The Boxer has a lovely short, neat coat that requires minimal brushing to maintain.

DACHSHUND

Is there any more classic representative of German hound breeds than the diminutive and distinctive Dachshund. It comes in two sizes: miniature and standard.

So depending on your Doxie’s lineage, she might weigh just 10 lbs or less, or more than 30 lbs! The name dachshund literally translated means “badger dog.”

This is a nod to what these dogs were born and bred to do—chase down badgers and extract them from their underground burrows. This explains their long bodies and low hanging ears, as well as short, sturdy legs. But today, the Doxie is mostly called upon as a lap companion, a job which these dogs are excellent at.

Dachshunds, like many small dog breeds, don’t realize they’re a tiny size and have loud, hound barks, which they have been bred to use. You can expect plenty of alerts from your pint-sized, sausage-shaped watchdog.

Dachshunds can have smooth or wiry-haired coats, short or long. So the amount of brushing and grooming your dog will need can vary depending on the type and length of their coat.

DOBERMAN

The Doberman actually takes its name from its creator, Louis Doberman, a tax collector who wanted a canine companion to protect him during his rounds. Understandably, debtors were never too delighted to see him showing up!

The word “Pinscher” translates to “terrier,” which makes the Doberman a particularly large, sleek and powerful type of terrier. As it turned out, Doberman’s initial canine was very good at his job, and soon the Doberman Pinscher became a fixture in military, police, and service work.

The Doberman has a short, smooth coat that is very easy to groom and maintain. These dogs are also very smart and active and to thrive, require regular exercise.

EURASIER

It is a relatively new breed that was developed by crossbreeding the Chow Chow, Wolfspitz and Samoyed.  It is a medium-sized dog, long rather than tall, with a brawny body. The head is strong and conical, similar to a wolf’s, with a flat skull and a frontal wrinkle. It has a conical muzzle and strong jaws. The eyes are medium-sized, slanting and dark. The ears are medium-sized, pointed, triangular, round-ended and erect. The tail is thick, bushy and carried on the back. The fur is double-layered, with a thick, short, fluffy inner layer and outer layer that has medium-length, straight hair that gives it a shaggy look. The hair is short on the muzzle, face and front side of the legs and long on the rest of the body. It can have any color except white and dark red.

It is an intelligent, quiet, well-balanced, alert, pretty friendly and obedient dog that doesn’t bark too much, but sometimes can have an independent thinking. It is affectionate and devoted to its family, it gets along with children, but it is careful and reserved with strangers. Generally it doesn’t have problems with other dogs or other household animals, especially if it was socialized with them from an early age.

GERMAN POINTER

Thanks to its name, the German Pointer is easy to identify as one of the German dog breeds! Like the Dachshund, another German breed, the German Pointer can sport both smooth and wire-haired coat, which can vary in length from short to long.

The wire-haired German Pointer is often slightly bigger and heavier than its smooth-haired cousin. The German Pointer was originally born and bred as a sport and hunting dog.

As such, these dogs are extremely smart and active—this is not a dog who will happily sit on the couch all day. German Pointers are great at agility and obedience training, service work, and tracking work.

GERMAN SHEPHERD

The German shepherd is arguably Germany’s ambassador dog! What is less commonly known is that there are actually several different German shepherds. For simplicity, they can be categorized as either working lines and show lines.

It’s important to be aware that show lines are increasingly plagued with lower back issues on account of the steeply sloping back curve currently prized in the show ring. Overall, the German Shepherd makes a great family companion for active families that like to run, play, and exercise with their dog.

These dogs have thick, double layer coats that shed seasonally, but generally, weekly brushing is sufficient to maintain their coat. German shepherds bond closely with their owners and don’t do well left on their own or cooped up for long hours.

SCHNAUZER

Even today, the Schnauzer is a staple on German farms. Schnauzers are bred in three sizes: miniature, standard, and giant.

All of them are extremely intelligent and share a wiry, close-fitting coat, exaggerated whiskers, and arched eyebrows. Schnauzers make very good family dogs and are great with kids. They are also excellent watchdogs.

It is important to hand-strip (manually remove dead or shed hairs) your Schnauzer’s coat rather than using electric clippers. This allows their coat to retain its protective waterproof properties. These dogs are very sociable and active and don’t do well when left on their own for long periods of time. You will also need to make time daily for exercise and play.

GREAT DANE

There are many opinions regarding the evolution of this breed. In 1876 the Great Dane was proclaimed Germany’s national breed. It is a large-sized dog, with a well-built, square, muscular, sturdy body and an noble and elegant look. The head is long with a square muzzle, equal in length to the skull. The eyes are medium-sized, almond-shaped, deeply-set and dark. The ears are medium-sized, drooping but can be cropped to stay erect. The neck is long and brawny. The tail is large and tapers from a broad base to a point at the tip, is kept low at rest and curves when alert. The fur has short, soft hair, close to the body and it can be brown, blue, black, harlequin, striped or with mantle (black with a white collar, chest, nose and feet).

It is a watchful, smart, enthusiastic, playful, calm and sensitive dog. It is very devoted and faithful to its family but especially to one person. Friendly by nature, it accepts other animals and dogs. It gets along well with other dogs. It is not very hospitable with strangers but the friends of the family are accepted straightaway. It isn’t a very noisy dog. It is a one-owner dog. If alienated as an adult, it will never be the same.

HOVAWART

The Hovawart is a medium to large size German dog breed. The name of the breed means “an estate guard dog”, which is the original use for the breed. The breed originated in the Black Forest region and was first described in text and paintings in medieval times. It is a large-sized, strong dog, with a robust build. The head is medium-sized, with the muzzle equal in length to the skull and with a wide, rounded forehead. The eyes are medium-sized and dark. The ears are triangular with pointed tips and drooping. The tail is bushy and long, but without touching the ground. The fur is double-layered, with an outer layer made of soft, glossy, slightly wavy,  medium length hair, longer on the neck and tail. It can be black, black with a patch, black with yellow to golden, with a white patch on the chest and the tip of the tail.

It is a brave and watchful dog with a very good sense of smell, well balanced and playful. It is gentle, affectionate, loyal to the family and attached especially to one person. Playful and patient with children, it is reserved with strangers and accepts them only with the master’s approval. It accepts other animals and other dogs, even treating them with indifference if it was socialized from an early age.

MUNSTERLANDER

It is the descendant of the “Hawk dog” from the Middle Ages and the result of the crossbreed between Pointers, Wachtelhunds and Stoberhunds. It was developed mainly in the region Munster from Germany, where comes the name. Through supervised selections were the current specimens were obtained which are very appreciated in Germany and Switzerland.

The Large Munsterländer is a large gundog originating in Germany. It gained recognition in the early 1900s. It differs from the Small Münsterländer due to its size and color, as the breed is only found in solid black or black and white (with black ticking spots allowed). 

The Small Munsterländer is similar to its larger cousin but isn’t closely related. The breed was developed in Germany as a gundog capable of hunting on land and in water. They were first used by royal families to hunt alongside their falconers. The breed comes in white and brown with brown ticking acceptable. 

LEONBERGER

The Leonberger sure is a looker among German dog breeds! This extra-large fluffy dog can weigh anywhere from 90 to 170+ pounds as an adult, but their long manes make this dog look even larger.

The Leonberger is considered one of the aristocrats of the German breeds and although this dog may be huge in body, they are truly gentle and patient in spirit. Sometimes referred to as Leos by their fans, the Leonberger is a fabulous family dog as well as a great working dog. And a surprisingly good swimmer!

The Leonberger takes its name from its birthplace, the town of Leonberg, Germany. The dog’s creator, Heinrich Essig, wanted to breed a dog that looked like the Leonberg town’s mascot, a lion. When you see this dog, you’ll see he succeeded!

POMERANIAN

No discussion of German dog breeds would be complete without including the Pomeranian, the miniature dazzler hailing from what was once Pomerania and is now part of Western Germany.
In some parts of the world, the Pomeranian is called the Zwergspitz, a nod to the dog ’s Spitz ancestors.

However, it’s fairly safe to say that the Pom, as many fans call them, is hairier than any spitz dog on the planet! Pomeranians are incredibly smart but can be stubborn. They are, however, easy to train. Pomeranians, like many miniature dog breeds, just don’t seem to realize their size, despite the fact that Pom could be described as a big ball of fluff on legs.

The Pomeranian became popular outside of Germany after Queen Victoria, smitten with the breed, took Poms back to England to breed them. Pomeranians require a lot of combing and brushing to maintain their luxurious coat.

ROTTWEILER

This breed is the result of the crossbreeding between the dogs brought by the Roman legions and the German shepherd dogs. The name comes from the town Rottweil, the center of cattle and grain merchants, whom they accompanied and protected. It is widely spread in Europe and also in the USA, where it is very loved.

It is a large-sized dog, with a strong and muscular body that inspires strength. The head is medium-sized, wide, with a short and strong muzzle. The eyes are almond-shaped and dark. The ears are medium-sized, pointed, triangular and drooping. The neck is strong, of medium length and the chest is prominent, wide and brawny. The tail is docked. The coat is short, thick and rough. It is black with reddish-brown patches.

This dog is intelligent, brave, obedient, watchful and steadfast. It is very protective and devoted to the family, but especially to one person and if it was socialized with children from an early age, it will be a great playmate for them. The Rottweiler will defend its master and its territory until the end.

WEIMARANER

The Weimaraner is called the “Grey Ghost” in its home country of Germany. These truly gorgeous dogs and there are many Weimaraner supermodels that have been immortalized by artists.

With their short close coats, Weimaraners are easy to groom. But you’ll need to make time weekly to check and clean your dog’s ears since they hang closely over the ear canals and are prone to infection.

The Weimaraner is a smart, high-energy dog that really needs a lot of daily exercise and activity! If it’s not provided, you can expect your intelligent dog to find her own fun, which may include remodeling your interior décor and perhaps your lawn and garden as well.

Here are some things about Germany and its inhabitants you will notice during your time spent in Germany, living in Münster, North Rhine-Westphalia, Weiden in der Oberpfalz, Bavaria and Kiel, Schleswig-Holstein. A hilarious (and true!) list by Liv Hambrett.

1. Germans are tall.
2. They enjoy dairy products. The refrigerated section of their supermarkets are homages to experimentations with yoghurt and quark. They will put a cheese or cream-based sauce with most things.
   
3. Sauerkraut is both enjoyed and often consumed, as per the universal expectation.
4. But the cabbage thing doesn’t stop there. Both krautsalat and rotkohl are regular meal (and döner) companions, the latter readily available in the frozen section of your local supermarket.
5. Germans have excellent winter wardrobes (perhaps because German winters are endless.)
6. They are punctual. It’s in their genetic make up. They cannot be late.
7. In fact, Germans place an enormous premium on the three Ps – Practicality, Punctuality and Planning.
8. Their babies are particularly beautiful.
9. They are very good bike riders – nay, they are exceptional bike riders. They manage to look elegant while free-wheeling down cobbled streets, pashminas blowing out behind them. They are also highly adept at riding with umbrellas.
10. Thus, German kids learn to ride young. They start in small wagons attached to their parents’ bicycles and move through the ranks until, at 6 years old, they are fully fledged members of the cycling community.
11. Germans can eat. And drink. A lot. They have excellent constitutions.
    

    Grilled bratwurst at festival.

12. They love meat. In all its incarnations. Raw, fried, crumbed and dripping in mushroom sauce. But mostly, processed and stuffed into stomach lining.
13. Germans worship wurst.
14. Germans worship the pig. He is revered as both a lucky (Glücksschwein) and delicious little fellow in this country and there is no part of the pig that cannot be boiled, shredded, fried, processed, mashed, diced and consumed. And there is no end to the various pig likenesses that can be crafted from marzipan.
15. They can and do, often, stomach minced raw pork for breakfast … topped with onion and a bit of pepper.
16. They are good at mostly anything they do. Or, if they’re not, they try hard and become competent. Because …
17. Germans are thorough. They seem to live by the ‘do it once and do it well’ principle. They work hard and effectively, despite working some of the shortest hours in the western world.
18. Consequently, they are the strongest economy in Europe. What they do during those short hours is probably double what every other country manages to do in twice the time.
19. For many Germans, the weekend begins at 1pm on Friday afternoon. The week’s work has been done and done well and now it is time to enjoy the spoils of a well-spent weekend.
20. They speak English better than most English people I know, or at least get their ‘there, they’re and their’ correct every time which is more than many English speakers can say.
21. They have unexpectedly wicked senses of humor. David Hasselhoff, anyone?
22. … a man they continue to embrace by playing Looking for Freedom far, far more than any other country.
23. They love a good boot.
24. And they never scuff them. Even when bike-riding down a cobbled street in the rain, holding the shopping and an umbrella, pulling a wagon behind them with a child contained within.
25. They do not suffer fools gladly, thus only put up with drunk Australians and Americans during Oktoberfest because we’ll pay hideous amounts of money for hideous amounts of beer.
26. They are extremely hospitable.
27. They seem to enjoy Westlife. And Take That. And Backstreet Boys.
28. In fact, your garden variety house party can often remind its attendants of the universality of 90s pop.
29. Were you aware Germany was responsible for the 90s smash, Coco Jumbo?
30. Germans simply do not understand thongs/flip flops/jandals as viable footwear. Even when it’s warm and sunny, and a boot is impractical or too warm for the feet to be comfortable. Outside of a very small, very obviously summer window, they will stare, bewildered, at thonged feet and quietly wonder if the wearer is mad.
31. They love a large, mind-bogglingly well stocked hardware store (with a bratwurst stand out the front). Perhaps because another mantra of the Germans could be: if you want something done well, do it yourself. Therefore they must be permanently well-equipped to do things themselves, like renovate apartments with the help of a good friend and a few beers.
32. Germans lose their shit when the sun comes out and act in a manner I can only describe as suspicious. They flock to outdoor cafes and tip their faces to the sun … but remain in boots and jeans with a pashmina close by. Even when it’s 25 degrees. Even when it’s obvious the weather isn’t going to turn. Because …
33. Germans are always prepared for the rain.
34. They are very fair people and largely adhere to regulations that exist to keep things fair for the masses.
35. This works because Germans love a good rule. And they reap the benefits of a rule-abiding society.
36. They don’t appreciate the use of the rude finger when driving. If you give it to a fellow driver, that driver reserves the right to report you and your license plate and you will get a fine.
37. Not that it will break the bank – fines for breaking road rules here are, on average, about 30€. When rules aren’t that often broken, you don’t need large rule-breaking deterrents.
38. They love the breakfast meal and fill the table with four different types of cheese, five different types of meat and a basket of bread rolls.
39. As a general bread rule, Germans seem to enjoy a darker or seeded bread. Or at least bread with a long name that nods to exciting contents.
40. In the same vein of their love for enormous hardware stores, Germans favor a mesmerisingly large Ikea (and other such stores in the same vein as Ikea) complete with an upstairs restaurant, a downstairs cafe and the all-important bratwurst stand out the front. Because …
41. Germans can always enjoy a bratwurst, no matter the time, no matter the place. And they never seem to drip the sauce all over themselves.
42. Germans don’t jay-walk. And they judge those who do with a piercing, back-burning gaze.
43. They are refreshingly comfortable with nudity. The further East you go, the more apparent this becomes.
44. Germans are generally candid, frank people.
45. German men don’t tend to leer lewdly.
46. But, Germans stare. Not in a way designed to be particularly rude, but in an unabashed, piercing, inquisitive way that makes you wonder if you have food on your face or your skirt is tucked into your underpants.
47. Germans love doing Kaffe und Kuchen for all sorts of occasions.
48. Collectively, German people seem to have a very sweet tooth and the cake, biscuit, chocolate, sweets aisles of their supermarket are of Willy Wonka proportions.
49. Germans can drink. And not just write themselves off, vomit in the bath tub at 2am, wedge in a kebab and back it up the following night, a la American/English/Australian binge drinkers … but drink. While the rest of the world is vomiting in the bath tub, the Germans are calmly ingesting their 57th shot and washing it down with a beer, their cheeks a little rosy, their eyes a little glazed, but their livers working as smoothly as a German made automobile.
50. This is because Germans start drinking young. They are allowed to drink ‘soft alcohol’ at 16 and ‘hard alcohol’ at 18. By the time we’re all losing our shit with the Breezers, the Germans are enjoying a much more tempered relationship with alcohol … and the benefits of a much more match-fit liver.
51. They don’t necessarily say it to you face, at the time … but Germans don’t like it when you go against the tide in the supermarket.
52. Or get on the bus through the wrong door. This they will say to your face, using a microphone and an unimpressed tone.
53. If there was a study done on countries and how well they dance in a club/bar situation, Germany probably wouldn’t be in the top ten for general skill. But would they would absolutely ace the enthusiasm component.
54. Germans struggle enormously with the concept of ‘naked feet’. It is better feet be clothed at all times.
55. Germans, largely, are always exceptionally well-groomed.
56. They embrace one hit wonders. Royalties from German radio probably single-handedly keep the singers the rest of the world wants to forget, in rent-money.
57. Germans are not afraid to whip out the smoke machine on the dance floor.
58. They are not ones to make small talk at the supermarket check-out. Or in general, really.
59. In fact, Germans hate small talk. Words without purpose are wasted words.
60. This is because Germans are generally extremely direct people. They do not see a need for conversational subtext. They say it as they see it, while keeping you at the appropriate arm’s length distance. Directness and distance are valued social commodities.
61. Apropos, Germans will always try and shake your hand, even if you feel you’ve reached the status of hugging.
62. But when you crash through those notorious barriers, you have a German pal for life.
63. Germans enjoy frozen vegetables.
64. Germans are generally very open and relaxed about most things sex-related.
65. They have the single most nerve-wrackingly rapid supermarket check-outs in the world.
66. Germans seem to really enjoy watching (dubbed) How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory.
67. And reading crime fiction.
68. They love their dogs. Often their dogs catch the bus with them and sometimes their dogs even dine with them in restaurants.
69. Germans. Love. Bakeries.
70. They don’t tend to go to the shops in track-pants and slippers.
71. It saddens me to report there seems to be a higher instance of socks and sandals paired together in Germany, than in other countries.
72. Germans seem to be distrustful of any beverage that doesn’t sparkle and, despite having excellent tap water, relegate it to second best beneath the bottled, sparkling stuff.
73. They also seem to enjoy mixing drinks. For example, their beloved cola/orange soft drink – Spezi, Schwip Schwap, Mezzo Mix. And the truly excellent Apfelschorle, apple juice and sparkling water. And why stop at white wine spritzers when you can have a red wine spritzer?
74. In keeping with this, they enjoy mixing beer (with cola, pear, cactus fruit, lime) which, for a nation famed for its superior beer production, is somewhat unexpected.
75. Germans like buying drinks in six packs of 1.5l bottles which are then dutifully recycled, bottle by bottle.
76. It is extremely rare to see a German throw out a recyclable bottle and, if they do (in the midst of a brain-snap) someone passing by the rubbish bin will very quickly pull the bottle out and take it to the recycling automat themselves.
77. During large events (festivals, Summer grilling bonanzas) there will be people making serious money by collecting revellers’ beer bottles.
78. They aren’t big on bread slicing. Sliced bread, ‘toast brot’, is relegated to the toaster and sandwiches made with sliced bread enjoy a disproportionately small section of the bakery display in comparison to their friends, the Brötchen.
79. Germans love Dackels (Dachshunds) and seem to own several of them at once. Perhaps this adoration of Dachshunds stems from their physical similarity to wurst.
80. Germans extract a curiously large amount of pleasure from the acts of giving, receiving and processing paperwork. They revel in it. Photocopy it. Sign it. Photocopy it again. Roll in it. Cover themselves with it and inhale the scent of paper.
81. Those who work for the German government seem to … never work at all. It’s like their entire system is efficient enough to work by itself, without humans doing anything except photocopying and stamping things.
82. Some German banks take lunch breaks which is unfortunate because many working people can only do their banking in their own lunch breaks.
83. Germany loves a public holiday. Bavaria in particular.
84. Germans have this … thing … with bureaucracy.
85. Should a contestant, for example, on a family friendly ‘celebrity special game show’ or something, be a nude model, German TV is totally down with displaying a great deal of her portfolio, to the audience at home. Pre 9pm. In fact, pre 8pm.
86. They are rather thrifty and don’t have the weird Anglo qualms with talking about money.
87. Germans seem to enjoy camping and driving campervans through Europe.
88. They are bizarrely superstitious about wishing people a Merry Christmas too early, opening presents early and celebrating birthdays early.
89. Germans have bottomless basements.
90. Boris Becker and Til Schweiger are the go-to celebrities for game shows.
91. Germans. Love. Football. Love it. In fact the most passionate you will ever see a German is when they are watching, talking about, thinking about, dreaming about or playing, football.
92. You may also catch a German in an act of passion if you raise the topic of cars. Germans love their cars and are very proud of their ability to make such good ones. Just ask them.
93. It is a good thing they have good cars and an Autobahn of terrifying speed because the Deutsche Bahn is Germany’s dirty little inefficient secret. Delays come with your ticket purchase, free of charge. It’s DB’s gift to you.
94. Most Germans seem to always buy or possess the appropriate public transport tickets, even though there are so many occasions upon which they could get away with not having one. This sense of honesty will eventually rub off on you.
95. Germans of a certain age really enjoy Jack Wolfskin jackets. Come winter, Germany turns into a sea of identical jackets, people’s age distinguishable only by the brand they’re wearing.
96. There is an obvious divide when it comes to what kind of high school you went to and what kind of leaving certificate you gained. And what kind of further education you go on to do, whether it be university for an extremely long period of time – honestly, no one does university quite like the Germans – or one of Germany’s millions of Ausbildungen (apprenticeships).
97. The whole country quivers with excitement every New Years Eve when they sit down and watch Dinner for One. But the supremely odd thing isn’t a national obsession with a 1960s black and white sketch comedy from another country that has nothing to do with New Years Eve, but the fact that this is the one film the Germans don’t dub.
98. Germans have this thing with online privacy. It is a rare German indeed who uses their full name on Facebook as opposed to a bizarre cross section of their first and last names, eg: Mo Na Berg or Le Na.
99. Germans can’t queue. Full stop, the end. They don’t know how, they have no interest in trying. This is the one time Germans embrace a lack of system and what happens when a queue is called for is the unfortunate culmination of Germanic forcefulness and uncertainty in the face of a system-less world.
100. Take, for example, what happens in a supermarket when another check out line opens. Instead of calmly indicating the person at the top of the queue, yet to unload their basket onto the conveyor belt, should head up the new checkout line, there is this mad dash like a scattered flock of sheep, and one’s standing in the original queue becomes completely irrelevant. If you are fast enough, you can theoretically come from well behind and end up getting served before the person five people in front of you, who has been patiently waiting for 10 minutes. And no one thinks anything of it.
101. Germans can open a beer bottle with anything. The couch, a coffee mug, a banana. Body parts. It’s like they all secretly take a class at school when they’re eleven, in preparation for a life time of beer consumption.
102. Should you not have a garden, but yearn for one, you can rent a small square of land called a Kleingarten (or Schrebergarten). Here you can cultivate a garden and sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labors by resting in a little hut. The Kleingärten (small gardens) are kept neat by the adherence to a set of rules specifically developed by and for each community.
103. In the average German garden, big or small, you will notice they seem unable to resist the lure of the garden gnome. There is almost always one, lurking sinisterly beneath a bush, or partaking in some sort of Mise-en-scène with other concrete characters and a perfectly clipped shrub.
104. Stefan Raab. He owns Germany.
105. Germans are inordinately proud of their states, districts, district-free cities, city states, regions, sub-regions, dialects, entirely different vocabularies, sub-cultures, traditions, festivals and basically being really different from the ten-house village that is 5km away because that ten-house village is in an entirely different region and therefore nothing like this village.
106. Generally speaking, Germans simply love celebrating.
107. And dressing up.
108. And that dastardly Schlager music which they all know the words to.
109. Often all three passions are combined at an inexplicable pop-up festival that features, without exception, the following: medieval beer stalls, a pommes stand and a wagon with a dazzling array of sugared nuts, waffles and chocolate covered baked goods.
110. And Spargel. They love Spargel and anything to do with Spargel, like Spargel peelers and Spargel steamers and Spargel platters. Forget Christmas or Easter or any other notable markers, the German year revolves around Spargelzeit.
111. Germany has assumed the döner kebab as a national dish, Germanified it with pickled cabbage and elevated it to where it now sits, loftily, alongside other key German snacks like currywurst and fischbrötchen.
112. Germans largely respect ‘Quiet Time’ on Sundays, when they don’t vacuum, use lawn mowers or other loud appliances and generally keep noise levels to a bare minimum. In some parts, an unspoken evening Quiet Time is enforced, via disapproval or neighbourly note leaving.
113. Church bells are exempt from all Quiet Times.
114. As ingrained in the German psyche as Quiet Time on Sunday, is the Sunday viewing of crime show, Tatort.
115. Germans have really embraced the organic food trend and dedicate shelves to products emblazoned with ‘BIO’.
116. Germans make loyal, warm, life-long friends.
117. German television seems to produce a startling array of game shows very close to – but not quite the same as – ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’
118. They like saying ‘juhu!’
119. While they may borrow the concepts for their solid repertoire of scripted reality TV, the German population yields the strangest, most awkward characters in the entire genre.
120. Germans can have entire conversations that consist solely of the word ‘doch’.
121. Occasionally they replace ‘doch’ with ‘eben’, if it fits, grammatically.
122. They like buffets.
123. And ‘house shoes.’
124. Germans seem to enjoy bringing activities to the park, when the weather is fine. Things like wooden blocks to throw around and rope to tie between trees as a sort of make-shift tightrope.
125. They like drinking yoghurt.
126. They can eat enormous sausages clamped between very small bread rolls, smothered in sauce, while walking and talking, and not getting a drop of it on themselves.
127. Germans make for extremely excitable sports commentators.
128. Mark Twain was not lying about the German language.
129. It is always too hot, too cold, too windy, too warm, too humid, too snowy or too rainy.
130. Germans blame 95% of ailments on the weather.
131. They may be the only people in the world to a) have a word for and b) accept the notion of ‘Frühjahresmüdigkeit‘ – ‘Spring time fatigue’.
132. On that note, no one does a compound word like the Germans.
133. Germans like going to Ikea just to eat hotdogs.
134. No matter where you go – to a festival, on a road trip, to a sporting event – you will find a clean public toilet.
135. Contrary to all evidence pointing to a socially restrained and reserved people, Germans are actually quite excitable.
136. They are extremely good-natured when it comes to laughing at themselves (and accepting lists like the very one you’re reading.)
137. Meals with Germans can be quite quiet affairs, the participants seeming to adhere to the unspoken rule of Eat Now, Talk Later.
138. Many Bavarians have enormous moustaches.
139. The mullet is alive and well in Germany.
140. As per Point 99 – Germans Cannot Queue – they are terrible pusher-innerers.
141. As per Point 123 – Germans Like House Shoes – many Germans seem to choose a pair of fake Crocs both for themselves and their children, as a general house/garden shoe.
142. Many, many Germans (and, to be fair, Dutch people) seem to love camping, camper-vans, camping grounds, and holidays that combine all three in a country like France or Italy.
143. Germans love their ‘hobbies’.
144. A favored hobby seems to be hiking.
145. Indeed, Germans enjoy walking in general, particularly after a meal, or indeed on a quiet Sunday afternoon (in pairs, wearing matching Jack Wolfskins).
146. Tchibo.
147. Germans are, surprisingly, rather enthusiastic applauders. They especially seem to enjoy falling into the rhythmic clap, while performers are taking their bows.
148. I have noticed Germans seem to enjoy ‘seasonal decorations’ for their front doors, doorsteps, gardens etc. A floral wreath for Spring, a twiggy one for Autumn (along with pumpkins and red leaves), your classic evergreen conifer for Christmas. Und. So. Weiter.
149. In keeping with their love of all things ornamental, Germans really seem to like home decor stores, ranging from the kitsch (Nanu Nana, Butlers) to the positively chic (any store that’s name features the words ‘Lebensart’ or ‘Landart’).
150. You will never actually see a German doctor at the appointed time. That famous German punctuality doesn’t exist in medical practices.
151. At many social gatherings, you will find a plate of cheese cubes and grapes, held together with a toothpick.
152. Germans and their pharmacies have a lot of faith in the healing powers of homeopathy and herbal teas.
153. Speaking of teas, Germans enjoy fruit teas immensely, including flavours such as ‘strawberry and cream’ or ‘blueberry yoghurt’.
154. Germans love being in, strolling and/or hiking through, or just flat out enjoying, ‘the nature’.