German Table Talk: What to Say (and What Not to Say) at Dinner
In Germany, meals are more than just opportunities to eat – they are social rituals governed by a quiet but powerful etiquette. If you’re invited to a German dinner table, knowing how to navigate the conversation can be just as important as knowing which fork to use. Germans are famously direct, but that doesn’t mean anything goes. In fact, the rules of table talk are surprisingly nuanced – and they speak volumes about German culture.
This guide offers a deep dive into what’s considered polite, meaningful, or awkward to say during a meal in Germany. Whether you’re a guest in someone’s home, attending a business dinner, or just making small talk over sausages and beer, here’s how to get it right.
The Role of Conversation in German Dining
Unlike in some cultures where dinner table chatter is light, fast-paced, and full of laughter, Germans often treat conversation as a structured exchange of ideas. That doesn’t mean it’s stiff or boring – it just means it has purpose. A thoughtful question or sincere remark carries more weight than a dozen quick jokes.
German table talk reflects key cultural values:
Sincerity: Say what you mean, and mean what you say
Respect: Listen carefully, don’t interrupt
Thoughtfulness: Ask questions that invite reflection, not just entertainment
Polite Topics for Table Talk
If you’re unsure where to begin, these are safe and engaging topics that will be warmly received at almost any German table:
Travel experiences: Especially if you’ve visited places in Germany
Books and films: Thoughtful or well-known titles are best
Nature and hiking: A national passion, especially in rural areas
Architecture or history: Germans appreciate cultural knowledge
Regional food and wine: Show curiosity about what you’re eating
Tip: If you’re in Bavaria, ask about local beer traditions. In the Mosel, talk Riesling. In Swabia, praise the Spätzle. Local pride goes a long way.
What Not to Say at a German Table
Certain topics are best avoided unless you’re with very close friends or know your hosts well. These include:
Politics: Especially current domestic controversies
Religion: Private and often personal
Money and salary: Considered bad taste
Personal health or body image: Seen as oversharing
Overly emotional or dramatic stories: Germans value calm tone
It’s not that Germans are overly sensitive – it’s that the dinner table is viewed as a space for harmony, not confrontation.
The Pace and Rhythm of Table Conversation
In Germany, conversation flows more slowly and deliberately than in many Anglo cultures. Silence is not awkward – it’s respectful. Don’t rush to fill every pause. Give others space to speak, and when you do speak, keep your tone measured.
Laughter and lightness are welcomed, but should not dominate. Think balanced dialogue, not stand-up comedy.
Interrupting and Listening
Interrupting is frowned upon. It signals impatience and poor listening skills. Germans often wait for a person to finish their full thought before responding. Even in a group setting, conversations may resemble a structured turn-taking format.
Humor: Use With Care
German humor is dry, subtle, and context-sensitive. Sarcasm, especially when delivered quickly or with a straight face, can easily be misinterpreted. Avoid jokes that rely on irony, politics, or exaggeration unless you’re very sure of your audience.
That said, Germans do enjoy humor – especially observational, self-deprecating, or clever wordplay. Just test the waters gently.
Speaking German vs. English
If you’re not fluent in German, don’t worry. Most Germans speak excellent English, especially in urban or professional settings. But even basic German greetings or questions can create a warm impression.
Learn these phrases:
“Es schmeckt sehr gut.” (It tastes very good.)
“Was empfehlen Sie?” (What do you recommend?)
“Vielen Dank für die Einladung.” (Thank you for the invitation.)
Your effort will be appreciated, and might spark a positive shift in the conversation.
In business settings, small talk usually opens the meal, but it gradually shifts toward more serious or relevant discussion. Still, avoid jumping into the deal or project too early.
Acceptable topics:
Your experience visiting Germany
Cultural differences (if framed positively)
Impressions of the meal or venue
Avoid sounding overly casual or trying too hard to “break the ice.” In German business culture, calm confidence builds trust more than charisma does.
Talking to Strangers at Shared Tables
In beer gardens, festivals, or community gatherings, it’s common to share a long table with strangers. In these settings, conversation is more relaxed, but still polite.
Start with:
“Darf ich mich setzen?” (May I sit here?)
“Was trinken Sie?” (What are you drinking?)
From there, you can steer toward topics like food, local events, or music.
Children and Family Meals
Children are expected to learn respectful speech at the table. That means no shouting, no interrupting, and no talking with food in their mouth. If you’re dining with a family, follow their lead and model the same behavior.
Body Language While Talking
Keep your hands visible on the table (wrists, not elbows)
Don’t point with cutlery
Make eye contact when toasting or listening
Nod occasionally to show engagement
Avoid overusing hand gestures or talking while chewing – these are seen as rude.
When Not to Talk
When someone is giving a toast
During prayer or opening remarks (in religious settings)
When chewing or drinking
If the host or elder is speaking and hasn’t finished
Talking at a German table doesn’t require fluency or perfection – just respect, attention, and the right tone. You don’t need to impress with wit or dominate the room. Instead, aim for steady engagement, ask questions, and show gratitude for the invitation.
A simple compliment, a sincere question, and a raised glass at the right time can go a long way toward making you feel at home – and leaving a good impression.
