German Culture

Real Germans and Religion

November 29, 2015 By germanculture

By guest author WEISSDORN

A Real German is either Catholic or Protestant, unless he/she is not. AMEN. How do you find this out? At the very latest, when you apply for your Tax Card. In Germany you get taxed for being a Christian, a Jew or a Moslem. But this doesn’t bother Real Germans, because it’s better to be a Christian than being an “Other”. Why? Because you can avoid unpleasant discussions with the personnel manager during your job interview if you have to explain why you are an “Other”. Make it easy on yourself, as a Real German, and be Christian, that way, there will be no questions asked.
But even if they are not, when their children reach a certain age they will of course become Catholic or Protestant – because what better excuse is there for Real German Families to get together and celebrate?

Actually not many Real German Christians spend that much time, other than on Sunday, if and when they go to church, thinking about or talking to God or Jesus. Actually there are only four major times a German deals with the church.

CHRISTENING
There is no such thing as baby showers in Germany, because if there were, they wouldn’t have big Christening parties. The biggest decision the new parents have to make, is who gets to (or has to) be the God Father and/or Mother. In some families there are scabbles of who gets the honor, and others they have to draw straws of who gets the duty.

Whoever gets picked is then the lucky vice-guest-of-honor for the Christening, and gets to be the lucky aunt or uncle who has to fork out the most money for all of the kid’s birthdays, Christmas and Easter presents. Once they used to pick these people on their ability to raise the child in the event of the accidental death of the parents. These days, they pick them based on the most loaded relative in the family tree, because the family expects the biggest present from the God Father and/or Mother every holiday. Should this honored person dodge his obligation at any birthday or Christmas, he or she will enrich the family gossip for years, and need not bother coming to family celebrations in the future. I have escaped this dubious duty several times, simply based on the fact that I have never been christened myself, and thus do not qualify to be a God Mother.

CONFIRMATION / COMMUNION
For the first few years of a Real German’s life, he or she has little contact with the church, unless his parents are particularily religious. Then we they start school they receive religion as a mandetory subject in school. Why?

Because the school has a copy of the parents records, which noted that on the parents’ tax card, the parents admitted being Christian. This automatically condemns junior to learn all about Jesus and his pals, and to teach young children that you can actually kill someone when you hammer nails in someone’s hands and feet and hang him up on a cross to dry in the sun. At some point or other, the church will requires a belief commitment from their new sprouts, which leaves some young people in doubt, and start to worry (really German!).

Needless to say, somewhat older children will be consulted if this is a good idea or not. The consultation must go sometime like this, “Ya just do it. The whole family will smother you in cash and presents.” Suddenly it dawns in the young Real German’s mind that he can combine religious rituals with the affordability marketing principles for obtaining that Pokemon game Mom refuses to buy. When the young generation of Real Germans become Protestants and Catholics, they drop all their coolness and allow themselves to be decked out in pretty white lacy dresses and very smart suits for the occasion, and learn quite a few uncool Bible verses and such, and behave in a rather uncool way for the duration, and on the special day they collect quite a tidy heap of pocket money from their far-flung relatives, in celebration of the great event, although quite suddenly after the event it is all forgotten and they are once again Cool Kids in crotch-hanging jeans and bare midriffs showing pierced navels and tattoos.

Real Germans and Political Correctness

November 29, 2015 By germanculture

Real Germans and Political Correctness, Multi-Culturalism, Private and Group Discussions
By guest author WEISSDORN

Political Correctness

Real Germans are the inventors of Political Correctness. If you think this is something fashionable they came up with in the 90’s in the U.S.- WRONG! Germany has been practicing Political Correctness with a fervor since about 1965, and making improvements along the way.

Real Germans will deny any knowledge of Jewish Jokes publicly and shall make all efforts to publicly condemn Jewish Jokes as the absolute epitome of poor taste. Although I have heard most of the most sickening distasteful Jewish Jokes in the German Language, we shall stick with the story that officially in Germany, Jewish Jokes are despicable (irregardless of how funny they are)!

There have even been trends in the language to prove their efforts in political correctness. Jews are no longer know as Jews in Germany, officially they are Jewish Co-Citizens; likewise other foreign and ethnic groups have received this title; Turkish Co-Citizens, Foreign Co-Citizens, Asylum Co-Citizens, etc. It would seem strange that although the aim is to incorporate these ethnic groups into their society, they selectively segregate them by deigning them “Co-Citizens”.

The politically conscious real German likes to wear their political correctness on their sleeves (or in most cases on their jackets) by wearing one of those solidarity colored-looped ribbons for every disaster that hits the news. Important is for real Germans is that the world and the neighbors publicly see their empathy and sympathy. With every new disaster the entire real German public suddenly takes the word “Betroffenheit” in their mouths. “Betroffenheit” in this case does not mean shame or embarrassment as the dictionary defines, but rather “I feel bad, too!”. The parade of ribbons the real German has in his bedroom dresser drawer is astonishing; pink for homosexuals; red, white & blue for the Americans; red for numerous occasions (PKK, GUS or anyone else who claims this color); black, red & gold for world matches; yellow for prisoners or hostages; even black & white spotted for BSE-infected cattle.

The real German also keeps a supply of red graveyard candles handy at home in case of some local or world-wide disaster, so that they can demonstrate their political correctness and display their “Betroffenheit” publicly in an evening candle-lighting ceremony (favorably in front of a news camera) if some student runs amok and shoots everyone, a former Soviet jet full of school children crashes or another earthquake occurs in Turkey, China or Antarctica.

Real Germans’ habits

November 29, 2015 By germanculture

What are Real Germans like? Set all stereotypes aside and read about Real Germans’ habits, likes and dislikes.
By guest author WEISSDORN

Real Germans want everything at least 99.999999%. That is to say, before they purchase any product it should be 100% with a 1 Euro price. Maximum quality (nothing less will do), and minimum price.

Real Germans are perpetual bargain hunters. As soon as they buy anything they are slightly unhappy, because somewhere else that has inevitably escaped their attention, there was some place that had a better quality and it was cheaper!

Real Germans hate anything artificial in their food, even if it does improve the quality of the food, such as additives, vitamins, preservatives, or things that prevent it from becoming “yucky” after 24 hours. Let us not even speak about gene-spliced food or drugs to prevent livestock from becoming sick.

Many real German men love their cars more than their children. While children usually don’t mind their parents, the car never fails to obey the commands of it’s driver. And let’s face it, a convertible Mercedes does look more attractive than some little kid with ice cream squished all over his face.

Real Germans are in love with their jobs. A German without a recognized profession is a nobody. A poor life have professional nobodies in Germany. Those are the people who did not qualify for some profession, like me, because my academic credentials where obtained in the U.S., which all Germans know are inferior to REAL German learning institutions. Even though a German may be unemployed for a substantial amount of time, he is still somebody, because he has learned a profession.

Real Germans are worry-warts. Female Germans excel in this trait. Worrying is almost a full-time job, because daily there are lots of things to worry about in this country. Will Germany ever live it down that they came in second place in the World Soccer Cup? Will another airplane crash over my head if I live near Lake Constance? If the poor Soviet people come to Germany to claim the horrid broken bodies of their children, will they want to stay in Germany and never go home? Will I lose my job because the Euro is making everything more expensive? If I leave work now, will there still be a parking place available at the supermarket?

Want to make a real German turn white with shock? Just tell him, that where you live you don’t have liability insurance, you aren’t too concerned if your kids don’t have a registered place for pre-school, and if your landlord evicts you – hey no big deal, you’ll just move.

Real Germans hate “winging it”. They like pre-planned programs with lots of little details. They can usually be the first people to point out that you made a mistake in your planning.

There is a rumor that Germans have no sense of humor. This is absolutely false. They do have a sense of humor, in fact there is even a non-translatable word for their sense of humor, “Schadensfreude”. There are two words stuck in this word. The first one is “Schadens” which means “misfortune”, “damage”, “injury”. The other word is “Freude” which means “joy”, “happiness”. In other words, it literally means “joy for another’s misfortune”, which is why Mr. Bean is more popular in Germany than in Britain. Germans do not feel any sympathy for Mr. Bean. They are not laughing with him; they are laughing at him.

For real German profanity is anal and not coital. Germans do not say “F*ck!” when they are angry or disappointed, they say “Sh*t!”. Likewise they do not describe a person they are not particular fond of as a “M*ther-F*cker!” but instead as an “A**hole!”. Some say it was no wonder that Sigmund Freud “discovered” the concept of anal fixation; his first patients let out their frustration in the German language.

Circus Krone from Germany

November 26, 2015 By germanculture

Greatest, best, most popular… Truly, Circus Krone deserves to live in its own world consisting of the superlatives. Raised by the legendary Circus King Carl Krone and respecting the old family traditions, this circus institution has been functioning ever since the premiere in Bremen in 1905. It has long ago become the largest circus in Europe, recognized and adored worldwide. Thus, it is another bright star on the German calling card.

Circus Krone rich history dates back to the end of the 19th century, when Carl Krone, Jr. started working in his father’s institution, Menagerie-theater. Gradually, Menagerie turned to Circus with its own building in Munich, celebrating the 80th birthday this year. Circus Krone presents the largest marquee in the world: 30.000 square meters of size, with 400 inhabitants, 250 animals, 330 wagons for living and the transportation of luggage and equipment. Tremendous sums of money have been invested in the Circus. The shows are visited by more than 1.2 million spectators each year, with many prominent persons among them.

Heart of the Circus Krone lies in its artistes and animals. 40 artistes, acrobats, animal trainers, dancers and clowns make the circus shows entertaining and unforgettable. One can even get in touch with them via email (addresses are given on the artistes’ personal pages). Animals are the most precious thing of the Circus. They are those who constantly draw attention to the shows. Still, Circus Krone states that it “doesn’t live OF but WITH its animals – and primarily FOR its animals”. Indeed, care about animals amazes and leaves no space for doubts as for their well-being.

From April, 1st to November, 14th Europe’s greatest Circus is visiting more than 30 cities in Germany and Austria. The Krone Parade show was created by Christel Sembach-Krone, directing and managing the Circus Krone since many years. Along with tour shows, Circus Krone gives performances in their solid building in Munich. Spectators can visit summer and winter productions. What makes people personally go to the shows while it is possible to watch them on TV? The point is that TV shows are unable to convey to the full extent the exciting feeling of the slight danger of wild animals’ presence, or suspense during the acrobats’ stunts. Circus Krone invites you to come and inhale the glamorous atmosphere of their superb shows, professional performance of artistes and animals.

Gerhard Schroeder: “I’m a climber”

November 16, 2015 By germanculture

On September 27, 1998, Gerhard Schroeder, a “bluff and combative” legislator from Lower Saxony, was chosen a new chancellor of Germany. Mass media consider him to be a “breath of fresh air” after 16 years of Helmut Kohl’s governing. This was a big news for the whole political world. The event hit the headlines of the leading newspapers and magazines. Most of them, having electronic versions of their issues, put the articles dedicated to Schroeder’s success on the Internet.

The CNN Interactive has fully reflected the new German chancellor elections.
Who is this man, who put the Kohl era to an end, whom Germans have chosen their new chancellor, who will be the first to govern from the new capital of the unified Germany? For many people Gerhard Schroeder remains an enigma. The first thing to do is to have a look at Schroeder’s curriculum vitae. The general outline of his political convictions and some personal characteristics including his hint of charisma can be found on the Gerhard Schroeder: Upstart at the chancellor’s gate page.

The turning point in Germany’s political life became incoming center-left government sign coalition pact. The chancellor-elect has formed a government of his own, and what it makes in coalition with Greens is seen in the line-up of Germany’s new cabinet, which, however, has suffered a blow on Monday, Oct 19, when Schroeder’s choice for economics minister refused the job. New German Finance Minister Oskar Lafontaine, however, is a powerful and experienced politician, and makes a good match to the chancellor himself.
On October 27 Gerhard Schroeder was formally elected as the country’s new chancellor, and this day Germany set to crown him.

Rammstein – the creators of ‘Tanz (dance) Metal’ style in music

November 16, 2015 By germanculture

Rammstein is a German band that was formed in 1994. Rammstein musical style incorporates elements of metal/hard rock, industrial metal, and electronic music, which the band has termed ‘Tanz (dance) Metal’. Their songs are performed almost exclusively in German. They have sold over 12 million records worldwide.

The Story

Rammstein was started by Richard Z. Kruspe-Bernstein. At this time, Richard lived with Oliver Riedel (of the band The Inchtabokatables) and Christoph Doom Schneider (of Die Firma). The three started working together on a new project. Then Richard got Till Lindemann to join them as it was hard to write music and lyrics at the same time.

A contest for new bands was announced and the prize was studio time. The four of them recorded the first Rammstein demo and won. Paul Landers joined them soon. At this point, all they needed for the machine-sound was a keyboarder. They tried to get Christian “Flake” Lorenz to join, as he had played with Paul before in the band Feeling B. Flake was not entirely thrilled with the idea at first and didn’t want to join for a long time. But he agreed eventually.

About the time the band was formed, they all had relationship problems which provided the foundation for their debut album Herzeleid (Heartache) in 1995. Since then, they have reached gold and platinum status for their music and have become Germany’s number one music export. Despite lyrics that are in German, the band has enjoyed success outside of Germany, both in Europe, North America as well as Japan, Australia and New Zealand. With the album Reise, Reise (2004), they became the most successful German-language band of all time internationally. Rammstein has had several top ten singles in Europe.

The asteroid 110393 Rammstein is named in the band’s honour.

The Name

Rammstein takes its name from the western German town of Ramstein-Miesenbach, site of an airshow disaster in 1988. The band’s signature song, the eponymous “Rammstein”, is a commemoration of the tragedy that took place at the Ramstein Air Base. The extra “m” in the band’s name allows the word to mean “battering ram” (literally “ramming stone”), reinforcing the image of the band’s music as fierce and relentless.

The Style and Lyrics

Rammstein’s style has tended to divide critics, some of whom have responded with memorably dismissive comments. The New York Times (Jan. 9, 2005) commented that on the stage, “Mr. Lindemann gave off an air of such brute masculinity and barely contained violence that it seemed that he could have reached into the crowd, snatched up a fan, and bitten off his head.” Other critics have been more positive. Despite Rammstein’s brutalist image, many of its songs lyrics demonstrate a certain sense of humour.

Wordplay is a fundamental component of Rammstein’s lyrics. In many instances, the lyrics are phrased such that they can be interpreted in several ways.

In an interview in March 2017, Richard Kruspe said that Rammstein had about 35 new songs that were close to completion, though the release date of the band’s seventh studio album was an open question

Levi Strauss

November 16, 2015 By germanculture

The Origin of Levi’s Denim Blue Jeans

The great father of blue jeans, Levi Strauss (February 26, 1829 – September 26, 1902) was a German-born American entrepreneur, Jewish by birth.

Loeb Strauss (he liked the name “Levi Strauss”) was born in Buttenheim in Franconia, Bavaria in 1829. The 18-year-old German immigrant left for New York City together with his family in 1847. There he worked hard with his older brothers Jonas and Louis Loeb in their family dry goods business called “J.Strauss Brothers & Co”.

In 1853, Strauss went to sensational San Francisco looking for his fortune and big money. It was the high peak of the California Gold Rush that started in 1848. Most of the risky prospectors of gold mining in northern California became bankrupts and only few of them were lucky to grow rich. Levi Strauss became famous and wealthy. He was one of the wise moneymakers who provided goods and services to the miners of California.

Firstly he initiated a dry goods wholesale house under his own name. “Levi Strauss & Co” used to import different dry goods – clothes, handkerchieves, rolls of fabric and so on.

The story of the blue jeans goes that both prospectors and miners were often complaining about the easily torn cotton trousers and pockets, that’s why the practical Levi decided to make solid overall pants for the miners and other workers to wear. Levi Strauss was sure that his “waist overalls” (the old name for jeans) would become very popular with miners, ranchers and farmers for their close-to-the-ground line of work. Strauss opened a “wonderful pants of Levi’s” factory in San Francisco. These hard-wearing overalls were fashioned by Levi from a sturdy fabric called serge, made in Nimes, France. Originally called serge de Nimes, the fabric later became known as ‘denim’.

Another story tells that Levi began adding copper rivets at the stress points in his overalls and changed canvas to a heavy blue denim material called genes in France, which became “jeans” in America.

Nevada tailor, Jacob Davis suggested that Levi pay the fee and share the patent of his overalls’ improvement. Davis was one of Levi’s constant customers who purchased rolls of cloth from the company for his own business, Davis could not afford the $81 needed to apply for a patent. Therefore Davis shared with Levi the way he made pants for his customers: by riveting at the points of strain—pocket corners and on the base of the fly.

On May 20, 1873, Strauss and Jacob Davis received US patent № 139121 for the riveting process to strengthen the pockets of denim work pants. This date is now considered the official birthday of “blue jeans.” And in 2003 “Levi Strauss & Co” celebrated the 130 anniversary of the invention of “blue jeans” by Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis.

The successful clothing business wasn’t the only sphere of public life for Strauss. He served as a director of an insurance company, a utility company member, a Jewish community leader, and a contributor to the Pacific Hebrew Orphan Asylum and Home, the Hebrew Board of Relief, San Francisco’s Temple Emanu-el Sisterhood, the University of California and other civic and cultural institutions. He participated in various charitable organizations and helped to fund the gold medal awarded each year to the temple’s best Sabbath School student. Even as his company and fame grew in size, Strauss insisted that his employees and relatives call him Levi, not Mr. Strauss.

Levi Strauss died peacefully at home on September 26, 1902, at the age of 73. The City of San Francisco declared that day a business holiday so that everybody could attend the funeral at Temple Emanu-el. He left his flourishing business to the four nephews—Jacob, Louis, Abraham and Sigmund Stern – and other family members. He was never married. The family has maintained Levi’s philanthropic practices.

Levi’s Denim Blue Jeans are a world-recognizable trademark and best-known emblem of the American Western lifestyle due to the high quality production and grand name of the overalls inventor. Today the legendary company Levi Strauss founded, remains one of the nation’s leading apparel manufacturers. In 2003 “Levi Strauss & Co” celebrated the 150 anniversary of its founding.